And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize