she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
