Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
