this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
