so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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