Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
