hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize