nut hugger
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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