remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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