I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
