Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
