You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
