At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
