I want to make a zoo with you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
