I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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