You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
