David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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