You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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