OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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