you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
