my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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