So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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