I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize