Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
