Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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