Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
