I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
