No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
