just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to calm my uterus...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
