): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we're making bets on your personal life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
