Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
