Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
