That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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