Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
