i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
