Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
