There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
