Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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