She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
