The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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