I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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