Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
