I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
worst night to have a conscience
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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