Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
