He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
