its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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