I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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