on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
