she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
