Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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