she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
