wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
