Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
