he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
