butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
