it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
