I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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