Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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