I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
where are my eyebrows?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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