before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize