we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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