sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize