In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm at about main and main street
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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