Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
