he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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