If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
