I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
