Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
