no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
