Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
